Diary of a mid-millennial
One of the highlights of my week is when Refinery29 publishes their latest Money Diary. If you’re not familiar with the concept, it’s when somebody tracks how they spend their hard-earned cash during a seven-day period. I am OBSESSED. There’s something strangely comforting about deep-diving into somebody else’s bank account and realising that we all secretly spend too much money on flat whites and takeaways.
So I decided to do my own, a gory glimpse into an average week in the life of a faux-adult living la vida loca*.
*Exaggerations have been made for comedic effect.
Sunday:
Diligently plan for a week of healthy and nutritious work lunches and dinners. Head to Tesco in my gym clothes (no exercise has been done but pyjamas at the shops is unacceptable) and fill my basket with cauliflower, chicken breasts and 100s of spices. Stock up on the obligatory loo roll and smugly pack everything into a reusable bag brought from home.
Total: £65 (but the spices are an investment in future flavour)
Monday:
Wake up late and blearily stumble to the office via the coffee shop on the corner. Oat milk mocha and a cheese scone cause Monday’s are tough. Have delicious homemade soup in the fridge but not really feeling it, decide to treat myself to a bagel instead, throw in crisps and a can of juice too. Will have soup tomorrow. Wander home via Poundland where I stock up on festive Glade plug-ins. Already have the ingredients for dinner in so feeling good about my life.
Total: Approx £20, Poundland stuff basically doesn’t count.
Tuesday:
Been dreaming about a coat I saw Alexa Chung wearing and I need it. Before I’ve even left the comfort of my duvet cocoon, it’s ordered. Maybe I won’t like it when it arrives... Got dinner leftovers for lunch because I’m a woman with my shit together. A friend is coming over for dinner so must buy fancy bread, crisps, dip, olives, charcuterie, fresh flowers and PLENTY OF WINE.
Total: Rather not say to be honest
Wednesday:
Tuesday night wine=Wednesday morning Gregg’s. Just a wee vegan sausage roll to soak up the Rioja. Lunchtime rolls around and the need for something healthy-ish is strong, stroll to the nearest shopping centre to M&S. Buy snacks for the office because I really want one of those millionaire shortcake crispie cake things and you can’t just buy one tub because it’s 2 for £4. Have a wee peek in Boots and H&M too and pick up some essentials (if we can class a shapeless polyester jumper and pleather skirt as essential). A friend texts to remind me I owe money for a hen party/engagement gift/baby shower/wedding present - delete where appropriate.
Total: Well today’s been quite spendy hasn’t it…
Thursday:
Hooray it’s Thursday! Celebrate with a latte from the shop rather than my Nespresso machine. Got lunch again today so no need to leave my desk thus saving me money. Oh wait, ASOS discount code...
Gasping on a G&T, stop by the shops for some fancy tonic and a grapefruit.
Total: £6 (Basically pennies)
Friday:
Nothing says Friday like pastries for breakfast. Make a rather large dent in Lidl’s bakery section on my way into work. Sad salad for lunch for but it does the job, Monday’s soup belongs to the office fridge now... Pick up loads of delicious goodies for tomorrow’s brunch including all the fixings for Bloody Marys. Vodka is a store-cupboard staple right? Takeaway for tea because it’s Friday and I’m too tired to make any other decent dinner decision.
Total: £53.50
Saturday:
Boozy brunch turns into drinks at the pub which leads to a taxi into town to dance in amongst a sea of actual foetuses. Stumble home via a 24hr McDonald’s.
Total: So many Monzo notifications, I’m too scared to look…
The Breakdown:
A mental breakdown, writer’s own.
Total: Probably too much, but you can’t put a price on good times, am I right?