Fall Back
The clocks went back yesterday and already I feel discombobulated. In the summer months I take so much for granted and today I miss the daylight. Every winter the darkness descends and it always takes me by surprise. One day I’m just walking along and boom, somebody has stolen the light, the hope, the joy of summer.
Tonight I left the artificial lighting of my office, emerged into the gloomy street and was struck by how different I felt. I felt wearier, more worn down and woeful. Winter stretching out in front of me like an endless tunnel. By December it will be different. The darkness feels familiar then. Long, lazy, light-until-10pm evenings seem like a dream and Christmas lights up the night skies.
I think the Scottish winter must be a bit like childbirth. You remember all the festive fun in a haze of twinkling lights and sequins, but you forget the pain; like standing in taxi queues with teeth chattering, and dragging yourself out of bed in Baltic temperatures. It’s easy to allow yourself to wallow in the winter, to curl up in the cosiness, reluctant to leave the house.
For women, the darkness also brings a certain fear. We wrap our coats around our bodies tighter. Pull our skirts down a little longer. Every solo journey takes place with a little more apprehension, sneaking furtive glances at those who cross our paths, desperate to remain anonymous, invisible. Shortcuts and alleys are swapped for busy thoroughfares and well-lit pathways, one hand clamped tightly on our mobile phone, the other grasping a set of keys.
In a couple of weeks I’ll forget this feeling, the lightlessness will no longer dismay me. And as well as the night, we have the days: the crisp, cold, bright, beautiful days. So let’s fall back, reset, and ready ourselves. Because winter is coming.